Ponderings of Mama ~

 From my journal in 2012 ~

We would love to embrace a child but more than that we want what is best for this child.  Help us keep our eyes upon you, NOT on ourselves. Help us to love the least of these, willing to teach everyday about Jesus, His love for us, and His plan of salvation.

God we come before you with open arms, thankful where you've brought us, wanting to be willing to be used, but feeling inadequate, questions filling our mind, fearful at times.  Can you use the fraility of man, the humanous of this family?  Help us to see the big picture from your eyes for those frail, unwanted, vulnerable, weak, dependant lives in this world.

When I look at me this is hard.  I'm scared. I can't do this.  I'm already too busy.  More years of parenting?  Am I crazy?  More sleepless nights.  Willing to stay home with a sick child when everyone else goes to do something I'd love to do too?  This is hard.  It's a cliché we say often, but I'm learning in a big way about living faith.  Yes, to you Jesus.  I'm falling on my face before you with my arms open and my hands unclenched of "me".  Yes, to the weak, the lonely.  Yes, to opening my family to others.  Yes, to the journey of reaching one in the sea of orphans.  Yes, to wanting to do it with joy!  Yes, to no regrets at the end of my life for doing what I knew I was called to do.  Yes, to  sacrificing myself to someone who won't say thanks for a long time, maybe never.  Yes, to giving myself to you Jesus in the form of being a servant mother to a weak one.  Yes, to you Jesus because I love you.  Yes, to knowing you'll give me strength and wisdom.  Yes, to doing the hard thing, misunderstood thing, the demanding everyday thing that will be with me for a long time.  Yes, to obeying you.  Yes, to LIVING FAITH.

When I wrote the above thoughts, we were beginning a journey of wondering where God would lead us.  We never knew where it would end, or even if God would use our family in this area, but we knew we needed to be willing.  This past week God brought Jade (her middle name) into our life.  There are many uncertainties, but we know one thing for sure.  God is faithful and He will guide us through this transition every step of the way.

If at first the idea is not absurb, then there is no hope for it.  Albert Einstein

The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing - Edmund Burke

I am only one; but still I am one.  I cannot do everything but I can do something; I will not refuse to do something I can do.  Helen Keller

To love is to be vulnerable.  C.S. Lewis

No man makes a greater mistake than he does nothing because he knows it is not everything.
- Edmund Burke

Whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me.  Matthew 18:5

Life is such a journey and I want to embrace it with all I have to be a honour to our God!

Living in Faith,
Mama