January Ponderings...

January always seems to be the hardest month of the year for me. The end of the school year seems so far away & I feel as if I'm not getting a whole lot accomplished.

Lately, I've been thinking about how short life is. It seems days ago I was learning to read & dreaming of being involved in activities that I am now an "older member" of....and it is so weird to think that I am closer now to graduating than I was then to where I am now. (hehe, if that makes sense. :D)

This past weekend, my parents, Ricky, Livy & I attended a music festival with our choir. We were given an opportunity to sing in a mass choir with tons of other youth groups/youth choirs...While the music was very powerful [see below video - first go to the bottom of my blog & turn off the music] I noticed something that I had never realized so clearly before.

Teenagers (even Christian ones) are very purpose-less. They live from moment to moment. They don't think further than the stage of life they are in. They long for people to love them. They long for approval. They complain about where they are in life, yet do nothing to become something else. They aren't searching to do things for the Lord, but instead are consumed with the world.

I am 14 years old. That means that I am a teenager. There have definitely been times in my life where I have sought for approval. I have wanted people to "like" me. I have been obsessed with other people's opinions of me....and I have desired to "fit-in."

But during those times in my life, I have also known that there is more to life than that. I am a child of the Living God ~ my life belongs to Him. He has given me His love, comfort, joy & peace through the storms in my life. So, now I want to have a powerful testimony for His Name and run to the nations proclaiming His salvation!

I hear about teenagers who write books, make movies, and lead inspirational conferences.

But, I am only a 14 year old girl who struggles with Algebra and spelling. :) I have no evident talent or obvious calling. I'm presently struggling through my freshman year in high school. My heart longs to do something for Almighty God that will bring glory to His name. Something that will make Him smile.

But I feel as if I have nothing to offer. I think of all sorts of things that I would like to do...someday. :) But right now, I can't drive, I don't have a job, and I honestly don't come in contact with non-Christians more than at the grocery store or library.

While I am angered at other teenagers who don't accomplish anything during high school, I can't say that I am doing anything amazing either.

But, I desire to do something for Jesus.

About a week ago, I fell into my Mom's arms & told her how disappointed I am in myself. We talked about what the Lord has called us as Christians to do and what I can do at this time in my life. (Mostly being school & a loving sister/daughter/friend). She listened to my broken heart & we prayed together. The next day, I ran across this video on the Internet. It spoke to my heart soo much.


During the next four years of my life, I might not get anything "big" accomplished. Although, if I don't seek for man's approval, and if I give up the little things that I enjoy, but are a waste of time, to the Lord - I will have alot more free time for Him to work. Who knows what He has in store for little ole' me!! I can't wait to discover what the Lord will do in my future ~ carrying a cross doesn't sound easy, but I'm sure the reward will be more than worth it.
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At festival this past weekend, a group from a few different choirs did this skit to the song "God of this City." It was so powerful (to me at least...) There are so many hurting people everywhere. My heart just cries out for them ~ they are searching for love & approval. Jesus needs our hands & feet to carry His love, comfort & joy to their breaking hearts.



My awesome mom took a video of the song. [Ricky actually is one of the guys in it]...and i couldn't get it to upload on here (oh! the joys of blogger...) I'll try to put it to here later as I think it is well worth the trouble. ;D

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Alrighty, here it is. :) It isn't the best quality in the world...and you can't really hear the talking in the beginning...(be sure to turn my playlist music off as well. ;D)

Blessings!! ~ nikki